Because, sex was never supposed to make you feel guilty, used, or dirty. Sex was created to be a self-less act of deep love and commitment. God created it for our benefit and enjoyment. Unfortunately, we have taken God's idea and turned it into something selfish. And anything based on selfishness hurts people and will not satisfy us for long.

So, to start over means having another chance to do things better. And statistics show that saving sex for marriage in a deep and committed relationship brings the most happiness and satisfaction.

Starting over means stopping all sexual activity. And no, THAT won't kill you or make you blow-up! Yes, it probably doesn't "feel" possible to stop having sex and start over, but the truth is, no matter what anybody says, it is not only possible to start over but it's the best thing for you!

Yes, physically, once you've become sexually active there is no way to return your body to the "virgin" condition again, but... breaking the addiction to sexual activity and starting over as a "secondary virgin" has huge benefits and is not only possible but recommended!

According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) Sexually Transmitted Diseases Treatment Guidelines 2002,

"The most reliable way to avoid transmission of STDs is to abstain from sexual intercourse (i.e., oral, vaginal, or anal sex) or to be in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship with an uninfected partner. Counseling that encourages abstinence from sexual intercourse is crucial for persons who are being treated for an STD or whose partners are undergoing treatment and for persons who wish to avoid the possible consequences of sexual intercourse (e.g., STD/HIV and unintended pregnancy)."

The good news is, abstaining from sexual intercourse not only helps the physical healing process, but it helps the emotional, physochological, and spiritual healing process, too!

The bad news is (to those who are not in committed and faithful relationships) sex is very addicting! It will be difficult to change your habits. NOT impossible, just difficult. But ANY habit or addiction can be changed. With patience, persistence, and self-control any one can begin a healthier and happier lifestyle.

C.O.N.T.R.O.L.

• Control Yourself! Stop letting your addictions control you!You be in charge! When you find yourself returning to your habit, stop yourself.
• Out with the Old! Learn what situations, people, and places cause you to return to your old habits and avoid them!
• "N" with the New! Imagine yourself whole and new and start making the changes to become that new person by starting new, healthy, positive behaviors right now.
• Trust & Tell! Tell someone you trust and ask them to support and encourage the new behaviors.
• Repeat Again and Again! The more you practice a new behavior, the more it becomes the new habit.
• Occupy Yourself! Read good books, listen to good music, exercise, learn new skills, start new hobbies, volunteer to help someone… anything to occupy yourself in good ways, especially when being tempted to return to old habits.
• Love & value yourself! Don't beat yourself up for mistakes and/or things in the past. Ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself, forgive others, and start over again! Every day is a new day with no mistakes in it!

Expect it to feel strange and awkward at first when you stop. It will take time for your "feelings" to realize they are no longer in control of you. They won't like it and will try to take control back as soon As you let your guard down, too.

Don't fall for the notion that many problem behaviors are lifelong; uncontrollable; hereditary, etc. Believe it or not the most successful method of getting past a problem behavior is simply taking responsibility for it and deciding to stop.

Stay aware and intentionally remove and/or avoid things that provoke an unconscious reaction. Do you drink to excess with a certain group of people? Stop hanging out with them!